TSA versus the Segway, or if I were a terrorist

TSA versus the Segway, or if I were a terrorist - Artur Bergman

Artur Bergman

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[Jul. 30th, 2007|11:49 am]

Artur Bergman

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Tags

travel

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On Friday I learnt that terrorists can do Segway rampages in airports.

Arrived at PDX security line, the line moved quickly. Unloaded my bags and took out my computer. Walked up and leaned the Segway against the wheelchair gate.

TSA Agent Guy 1: Doesn't that go through xray?

Me: No it doesn't fit, usually it gets swabbed.

TSA Agent Guy 1 yells: Swipe needed

I pass through security and look for the Segway

TSA Agent Women 1: Is this yours, come over here. What is this?

Me: Segway

TSA Agent Women 1: Male assist needed

TSA Agent Guy 2 comes over and swipes my hands for explosives, what the fuck? no one has done that before

TSA Agent Guy 2: That is so cool, a segway

TSA Agent Women 1 look cross and continues to swipe the Segway.

TSA Agent Guy 2: How fast are these

Me: 10 mph

TSA Agent Women 1 makes some noise to the supervisor area

TSA Supervisor stands up, sees segway, smiles and gives me a thumbs up

TSA Agent Women 1: I am surprised they let these behind security, 10 mph is faster than most people run. If you were a terrorist you could do some serious damage at that speed.

Me: forcing myself not to say anything that might anger gods representative in the airport facility and add me to the non-fly list

So, two questions come to mind:

If she thought it was genuinely dangerous, why did she let it through? Do I not look terroristy enough? If I had been arab, would the combination of dangerous segway and me been enough to detain me?

Wouldn't a segway rampage down through the halls of Portland International be the saddest terrorist attack ever?

Link

Comments:

From:

pocketnovel
2007-07-30 07:11 pm (UTC)

I would like to point out that I was waiting a few feet away throughout this and can corroborate that these people were completely mystified, especially agent woman. It was really hard not to laugh at the "I'm surprised they let these behind security" line. But I nearly lost it when you first almost laughed at her, then realized she was serious and shot me a look of total shock and disbelief.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

burr86
2007-07-30 07:43 pm (UTC)

If I had been arab, would the combination of dangerous segway and me been enough to detain me?

I am not volunteering to test.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

xb95
2007-07-31 12:12 am (UTC)

Epic. That Segway is going to land you in a Russian (or American) detention center getting anally probed, I'm telling you.

(And after that, the story of the SEGWAY RAMPAGE will become fact...!)

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

wildilocks
2007-07-31 07:14 am (UTC)

*wipes tears from eyes* The images in my brain are just ... just ...

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

mengwong
2007-07-31 08:55 pm (UTC)

the p133 does fit in the x-ray with about 1.25cm to spare.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

mengwong
2007-07-31 09:18 pm (UTC)

My p133 fits through airport X-ray machines with half an inch clearance.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

keltickolor
2007-08-01 06:38 am (UTC)

I can see it now: angry Islamic Fundamentalists trying to run into people at ten miles per hour on BOTH floors of PDX!

Come on, it's the stuff of nightmares. It'd make a great FPS. "Shoot all the Segway-riding terrorists. Do not shoot the walking ones with dynamite vests."

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

gstein67
2007-08-02 03:03 am (UTC)

Oh, I can just see it... Artur cranking up the speed... "Woo! Look at me! 10 mph! RAMMING SPEED!" ... and trying to take out the Coffee People stand.

Riiiiiight.

(Reply) (Thread)

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