Artur Bergman (crucially) wrote,
Artur Bergman
crucially

TSA versus the Segway, or if I were a terrorist

On Friday I learnt that terrorists can do Segway rampages in airports.

Arrived at PDX security line, the line moved quickly. Unloaded my bags and took out my computer. Walked up and leaned the Segway against the wheelchair gate.

TSA Agent Guy 1: Doesn't that go through xray?

Me: No it doesn't fit, usually it gets swabbed.

TSA Agent Guy 1 yells: Swipe needed

I pass through security and look for the Segway

TSA Agent Women 1: Is this yours, come over here. What is this?

Me: Segway

TSA Agent Women 1: Male assist needed

TSA Agent Guy 2 comes over and swipes my hands for explosives, what the fuck? no one has done that before

TSA Agent Guy 2: That is so cool, a segway

TSA Agent Women 1 look cross and continues to swipe the Segway.

TSA Agent Guy 2: How fast are these

Me: 10 mph

TSA Agent Women 1 makes some noise to the supervisor area

TSA Supervisor stands up, sees segway, smiles and gives me a thumbs up

TSA Agent Women 1: I am surprised they let these behind security, 10 mph is faster than most people run. If you were a terrorist you could do some serious damage at that speed.

Me: forcing myself not to say anything that might anger gods representative in the airport facility and add me to the non-fly list


So, two questions come to mind:

If she thought it was genuinely dangerous, why did she let it through? Do I not look terroristy enough? If I had been arab, would the combination of dangerous segway and me been enough to detain me?

Wouldn't a segway rampage down through the halls of Portland International be the saddest terrorist attack ever?
Tags: travel
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