Arrived at PDX security line, the line moved quickly. Unloaded my bags and took out my computer. Walked up and leaned the Segway against the wheelchair gate.
TSA Agent Guy 1: Doesn't that go through xray?
Me: No it doesn't fit, usually it gets swabbed.
TSA Agent Guy 1 yells: Swipe needed
I pass through security and look for the Segway
TSA Agent Women 1: Is this yours, come over here. What is this?
TSA Agent Women 1: Male assist needed
TSA Agent Guy 2 comes over and swipes my hands for explosives, what the fuck? no one has done that before
TSA Agent Guy 2: That is so cool, a segway
TSA Agent Women 1 look cross and continues to swipe the Segway.
TSA Agent Guy 2: How fast are these
Me: 10 mph
TSA Agent Women 1 makes some noise to the supervisor area
TSA Supervisor stands up, sees segway, smiles and gives me a thumbs up
TSA Agent Women 1: I am surprised they let these behind security, 10 mph is faster than most people run. If you were a terrorist you could do some serious damage at that speed.
Me: forcing myself not to say anything that might anger gods representative in the airport facility and add me to the non-fly list
So, two questions come to mind:
If she thought it was genuinely dangerous, why did she let it through? Do I not look terroristy enough? If I had been arab, would the combination of dangerous segway and me been enough to detain me?
Wouldn't a segway rampage down through the halls of Portland International be the saddest terrorist attack ever?